One-Minute Melee: Sylvester VS Mr Jinks
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: Once again, Mr. Jinks comes down with the case of canaryitis, and is tempted to eat a canary in a cage outside his window. However, Sylvester the Cat isn't going to let Mr. Jinks eat that Tweety Bird... because he's determined to eat Tweety first! Which cat will have the right to get that Tweety Bird? Based off Hyper Gauge's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Looney Tunes, which belongs to Warner Bros., or Pixie & Dixie & Mr. Jinks, which belongs to Hanna-Barbera, which in extension also belongs to Warner Bros.! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge!

And now, it's time for a new 1 Minute Melee, and we go into classic cartoon territory on this one! Anyway, enjoy!

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 **1 Minute Melee!  
Where the most fun people have is in the fight!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! One victor!**

 ** _GO!_**

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 **(Hanna Barbera Town)**

Normally, a nice peaceful neighborhood was that of one of Hanna Barbera Town's neighborhood street known as 'Huckleberry Hound Boulevard'. Normally the people that live in these homes were nice and quiet...

 **BANG! SMASH! CRASH!**

Well, mostly quiet as the sound of yelling was heard.

"Come back here, you miserable meeces!"

Inside the house, we see two grey mice, one wearing a blue bow tie, and the other wearing a red open jacket, being chased around by an orange furred cat in a blue bow tie holding a waffle iron over his head.

The one in the blue bow tie, known as Pixie, was panting as he looked at his friend, the mouse in the red vest known as Dixie. "You know something, Dixie?"

"What is it, Pixie?" Dixie asked.

"Why does Jinksie always chase us around? I mean, we're friends for the most part, right?" Pixie asked.

"Good question." Dixie paused as Pixie and Dixie stopped in their tracks and turned, holding their hands up as if to make the 'stop' motion.

Mr. Jinks then stopped, sliding his feet, putting his hands down. "Eh, why did you meeces stop, why did you do that?"

"Can we ask you a question, Jinks?" Dixie asked. "Why are you always chasing us?"

Mr. Jinks paused, as if to think. "Well, it should be obvious... like, you're both mouses, and I'm a cat. It's the natural circle of life, if you get what I'm, like, saying."

"Yeah, but you never actually eat us!" Pixie pointed out.

Mr. Jinks smirked as he crossed his arms. "But of course I don't eat you. I'm fed, like, every day. Why would I need to eat you?"

"Why do you need to chase us?" Pixie and Dixie asked.

Mr. Jinks opened his mouth... then faltered as his finger pointed down. "Er... wow... for once, I don't have a, like, dignified response for that..."

* * *

All the while, outside the house, a car was pulling over to the side of the road as four characters got out. One of them was a kindly old lady with white hair, glasses, a white shirt with a glass necklace around her neck, and a purple dress. The second figure was a brown bulldog. The third figure was a black and white cat with a big red nose. And the final figure was a small, yellow canary sitting in a cage.

"Oh dear. Seems I may have taken the wrong street." The lady, known as Granny, said as she pulled up a map. "Hmmm... according to the destination, we should have reached Hanna Barbera Town's own Salt Mines thirty minutes ago."

The black and white cat in the red nose, known as Sylvester, shook his head as he said to himself, "At least we're on vacation after all those mysteries we had to go on, and I still haven't eaten since breakfast..."

Sylvester then spotted the yellow canary still swinging on his swing in his cage. Sylvester licked his chops as he said, "Fortunately, there's a Tweety sandwich waiting for me..."

Sylvester then started to hum a bit of 'Shortnin' Bread' as he used his paw to do a walking motion towards Tweety's cage. Sylvester then used his paw to knock on the door of the cage. Tweety blinked as he looked over to the door. "Oooo, wooks wike I have a visitor! I wonder who it could be."

Tweety then hopped off his swing and walked over to the cage door as he opened it up and smiled. "Hewwo, may I help you?"

Sylvester's paw then opened up as Tweety yelped. "I tawt I taw a puddy tat's paw!"

Sylvester smirked as he was about to grab Tweety... but then a giant hammer slammed on Sylvester's paw, making him yelp in pain. As Sylvester rubbed his paw, he glared at an innocent looking Hector, who was holding the giant hammer behind his back.

"Ho ho, very funny." Sylvester frowned as Granny put her map down.

"Well, I think we're lost. We may as well stretch our legs for a while and I'll go see if anyone in this part of the neighborhood knows where the Hanna Barbara Town salt mines are." Granny said as she opened the door.

Hector and Sylvester smiled as Hector took Tweety's cage and they got out. Hector then put the cage on the brick fence as Granny turned towards her three pets. "Now, I'm going to go around and ask for directions. Hector, keep an eye on Tweety and Sylvester, ESPECIALLY Sylvester. But don't harm him UNLESS he's getting an idea about Tweety. Understand?"

Hector gave a nod as Sylvester gave a frown and crossed his arms. Granny then turned towards Sylvester as she said, "And as for you, if Tweety is missing from his cage, you know what's going to happen!"

Sylvester gulped as Granny used her finger to cross around her neck, making a slashing sound. Sylvester then held his hands in a prayer fashion as a halo appeared on his head.

Granny then smiled towards Tweety as she looked over. "Be a good bird, Tweety. Hector will be sure to keep his eye on you!"

Tweety chirped, making Granny chuckle as she said, "Well, I'm off to get directions..."

As Granny left, Sylvester turned towards Tweety as his halo turned into devil horns as he gave a chuckle.

Sylvester then turned to see Hector, who gave the cat a menacing glare. Sylvester paused to think as he said to himself, "I gotta get that dog away from that cage..."

Sylvester smirked as he pulled out a bone from the car. "Good thing I've been saving this for a rainy day..."

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Meanwhile, from inside the house Granny's pets were in front of, Pixie and Dixie were watching as Mr. Jinks's eyes started to twitch and fall over.

"What's wrong, Jinksie?" Dixie asked.

"It's happening again, fellas, I think I'm coming down with canaryitis!" Mr. Jinks groaned again.

"Again?" Pixie asked. "But there's not even a canary inside the house."

Dixie, curious, decided to hop up towards the window... and shook his head as he looked out. "Uh-oh. Maybe not IN the house. But OUTSIDE our house is another matter!"

Pixie, confused, joined Dixie as he looked at the window... and gasped. "I-I don't believe it! Uh, Jinks, you might want to stay in for a while."

When Pixie turned around, he noticed that Jinks had disappeared from the spot. "Jinksie?"

"OH NO!" Dixie said, pointing out the window as Pixie turned back to see what was going on.

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 _"I wove wittle puddy, his coat is so warm, and if I don't hurt him, he'll do me no harm."_ Tweety sang as Sylvester was slowly luring Hector away with the bone. It was right there and then Tweety felt something was off as he looked to the right of his cage, seeing Mr. Jinks coming out of the house. "I tawt I taw a putty tat!"

Tweety looked again to see Mr. Jink licking his chops and holding two pieces of bread, buttered up. "I did, I did, I did tee a putty tat!"

With Sylvester and Hector, Sylvester threw the bone as Hector chased after it. Sylvester laughed evilly as he said, "And now, to get some lunch!"

Sylvester then turned around... only to see Mr. Jinks opening the cage and about ready to grab Tweety with the buns.

"What the- HEY!" Sylvester frowned as he ran over and punched Jinks in the jaw.

"Ouch! Hey, like, uh, what's the big idea, huh?" Mr. Jinks said, looking at Sylvester. "I was, like, just about to get some lunch, huh?"

"Oh no you don't! This is MY bird, if anyone's going to eat him, it's going to be me!" Sylvester growled, glaring at Mr. Jinks.

Tweety, watching from the cage, rolled his eyes. "Gwad to know I'm being appweciated awound here."

"You're not getting that bird!" Sylvester said, some of his spit landing on Mr. Jinks.

"First of all, say it, don't spray it, pal, okay?" Mr. Jinks frowned, giving a glare. "And I didn't see your name on that canary, so, logically, like, it should be mine."

Sylvester frowned as he summoned his claws out. "You want to get that bird, you have to get to me, first!"

Mr. Jinks frowned as he put a hand on his head. "You are really adamant about this bird, huh? Oh, all right, fine!"

Mr. Jinks summoned his own claws as he went into a stance. "You know, you, like, don't know who you're messing with, pal."

From nearby, Pixie and Dixie were just watching in amazement through the window.

"Er, Pixie, should we stop this?" Dixie asked.

"No, no, I'm curious about this." Pixie said, sitting down. "For some reason, I like to see where this goes."

Dixie nods. "Okay, but if Jinks gets out of this unscathed, we're stopping him."

"Fair enough." Pixie said as the two cats looked ready for battle.

 **CARTOON VIOLENCE OR CARTOON AWESOMENESS? YOU MAKE THE CALL!  
FIGHT!**

 **(60 Seconds)**

Sylvester jumped on Jinks and clawed at his face a couple times, giving a glare. Jinks then frowned as he slapped Sylvester back with his own claws. Sylvester merely rubbed his own face, glaring at Jinks. Sylvester then ran up and climbed up a tree as Jinks slid over to Sylvester and looked up.

Sylvester then jumped off the tree branch he was on and used his elbow to slam Jinks on the ground, causing Jinks to yelp in pain. Jinks then pushed Sylvester on the ground as he pulled out a nearby broom and held it over his head. Jinks gave a bit of a smirk as he waved the broom around.

Sylvester yelped as he covered his hands as Jinks used the straw end of the broom to swat the black cat hard. Then, Sylvester started to use his claws to slash away the straw from the broom, causing Jinks to look in surprise at the damage Sylvester was causing to the broom.

"Sheesh..." Jinks said as he examined the broom in surprise.

 **(50 Seconds)**

With no time to recover, Jinks didn't see Sylvester putting on a boxing glove and punching him in the gut. Jinks groaned as he held his gut.

Sylvester, smirking, pulled out a flute as he started playing an old tune he used to know. Jinks frowned as Jinks noticed his feet were actually moving to the rhythm. Jinks yelped as he started dancing towards Sylvester, as if being lured in the music. As soon as Jinks came close to Sylvester's face, when Sylvester ended the song, Sylvester just clobbered Jinks with the flute.

"Ugh..." Jinks groaned as Sylvester gave a chuckle. As Jinks rubbed his head a bit, he turned to see Sylvester coming over, now holding a mallet.

 **(40 Seconds)**

Jinks frowned as he pulled out the waffle iron from earlier as he used that to combat it with the mallet Sylvester was holding as they were now wielding the item they were holding like swords.

"Oooooh, wooks wike the puddy tats are having the time of their wives here." Tweety said as he sat back on his swing, watching the battle as he ate some birdseed.

For the two fightings cats, they weren't sharing the same sentiment Tweety was witnessing as Jinks whacked Sylvester with the waffle iron. Sylvester rubbed his head as he threw the mallet aside and pulled out some rusted pipe as he whacked Jinks on the head in return. Jinks frowned as he raised his leg and spun it around a bit before he kicked Sylvester straight in the stomach.

Sylvester yelped as he held his stomach and fell down.

 **(30 Seconds)**

Jinks, seeing an opportunity, pulled out a baseball bat and raised it up to his head. Sylvester, seeing the bat, rolled out of the way as Jinks swung and hit the ground with the bat, causing him to shake. Seeing an opportunity, Sylvester curiously looked in the window where Pixie and Dixie were watching the battle. He smirked as he saw what he needed. He ran in the house fast before Jinks could recover.

By the time Jinks recovered, Sylvester was coming back, dragging a rope in hand as Jinks blinked in confusion.

"Hold this a second, would you?" Sylvester asked, offering the rope to Jinks.

"Oh, er..." Jinks paused in confusion before taking the rope. "Sure, I gu-"

However, Jinks, not having a firm grip on the rope, was sent flying as Jinks flew back into the house, screaming as Pixie and Dixie watched Jinks get near the wall... with the grand piano that was lifted above ground by the rope Jinks was now holding to hit his head upon intact.

"Ouch... that's got to hurt." Pixie said as Dixie winced.

Jinks then got up as he growled, his eyes flaring red in anger as he grabbed a coal shovel and ran out of the house. This time, things were about to get serious.

 **(20 Seconds)**

"All right, you miserable cat, I've had enough games for one lifetime. You are surrendering that bird to me!" Jinks yelled as he raised the shovel with his hand and clobbered Sylvester with it.

Sylvester yelped as he rubbed his head, but shook it off. Jinks then started waving the shovel around as if attempting to hit Sylvester. Getting an idea, Sylvester then went into the car and pulled out some dynamite as he lit it with a match. It had became to the point where explosives just had to do the trick now.

Turning with a grin, Sylvester lobbed the explosive at Jinks as Jinks' coal shovel collided with the lit stick of dynamite, causing it to explode in Mr. Jinks' face. Jinks looked shocked as he was covered in soot from the explosion. Jinks then puffed out some smoke from his lips.

 **(10 Seconds)**

As Jinks was trying to shake off the soot, Sylvester used his chance as he pulled out a pea shooter. Holding the straw to his mouth, Sylvester blew in the straw to make peas shoot out, hitting Jinks in the face multiple times. Jinks yelped as he held his face, trying not to get hit.

"OUCH! HEY! LIKE, QUIT IT!" Jinks complained as Sylvester put down the peashooter, Jinks still reacting as if he was being hit. Sylvester smirked as he saw an opportunity.

 **(5...)**

Sylvester quickly hopped in the car as he searched around for something.

 **(4...)**

Sylvester smirked as he pulled out a blunt club that was under the seat.

 **(3...)**

Mr. Jinks recovered as he realized he wasn't being hit anymore. He looked around, as if in confusion.

 **(2...)**

Jinks then turned around to see Sylvester holding the club over his head, giving a smirk.

 **(1...)**

Before Jinks had time to react, Sylvester slammed the club right on Mr. Jinks's head, surprising the orange cat as he got clobbered on the head and sent straight to unconsciousness.

 ** _KO!_**

With that display of action done, Mr. Jinks fell to the ground, unconscious and down. Pixie and Dixie, who watched through the window, winced.

"Ouch. That's got to hurt, even for old Jinksie..." Pixie gulped.

"Think we should probably help him up?" Dixie asked

"Maybe, but I'm more concerned about that other cat. He's about to get the canary!" Pixie said, pointing to Sylvester.

Sylvester, standing over the down Jinks, gave a smile as he heard Tweety clapping. Sylvester turned and saw Tweety smiling and clapping. "Thank you, Mr. Puddy Tat! You just saved me fwom doom!"

"No, I only prevented your doom. Besides, if anyone is going to eat you... it's going to be me!" Sylvester said as he ran over and grabbed Tweety. But before Sylvester could put Tweety in his mouth, a growl was heard from right behind Sylvester.

Sylvester's eyes shrank as he turned to see Hector was tapping his foot and raising his eyebrow. Sylvester smiled nervously as he put Tweety back in his cage and patted him on the head.

"Oooo, what a hypotwit." Tweety frowned.

Sylvester then gave a nervous wave with his fingers as Hector punched his hand with his fist.

"...mother..." Sylvester said as Hector raised his fist and punched Sylvester clear in the nose.

As Sylvester fell down unconscious next to Mr. Jinks, Pixie and Dixie just watched as they both smiled, Dixie saying, "I don't think we need to worry about that canary. Seems the dog is taking care of it just fine."

With that, Pixie and Dixie laughed as they decided that they may as well get some cheese from the refridgerator, since Jinks would probably be unconscious for a while...

 **This melee's winner is...**

 ** _SYLVESTER THE CAT_**

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 ** _NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 3 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE..._**

 ** _You don't need to be a genius to know what scientific possibilities there are in the next generation!_**

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And that is this episode of Season 3 of One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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